Last Friday ended with some pretty heavy duty menstrual cramps starting during spine strengthening.
My actual period didn't start for another two days, but then by Monday's class I had to keep my arms out and to my sides in half-locust because my cramps were bad, and this whole weak has been very gentle in full bow. I just grab my feet and push my stomach into the floor until I feel it pounding.
Danny killed me on Tuesday, where I swear every posture lasted an extra ten seconds which was then subtracted from any "resting" that might have happened between postures. So everything was deep, way back, locked, forehead touching, arms pulling, stomach in, reach reach reach!
I didn't do class on Wednesday, I was still dead from Tuesday. I could have done 9:15 but had just gotten a free bed on Craigslist the day before and had my first sleep, off the floor in a Queen mattress stacked on another mattress. (Kurt, your kids can have their little single mattress back!) Something about having that new bed seemed to just suck every ounce out of me, as though I had been tired for months and finally slept for the first time.
Then I worked at my dance company job, and taught a mask workshop for some performers doing EURYDICE, and then I babysat for a friend's kids and didn't get home til 1am.
Today I got up at 8:30 and did my 9:15 class, even though I felt like I had no juice. I guess it turns out that I didn't because I vomited after class (maybe it has something to do with sugar levels when I'm on my period), and had to nap.
Since I didn't go yesterday though, I did another class after I got home from work at 7:45.
My first Double!
And, they (whoever "they" may be) were right!
It wasn't as impossible as I thought. I was extra vigilant not to hurt anything, because my achilles is still bugging me and my left side neck/shoulder has a kind of kink in it, and class was very calm, gentle and controlled. I did almost everything twice, and after the class was really proud of myself. Then I drank a lot of fluids, coconut water, juice, gatorade, and water and now I'm home getting ready for bed in the hopes to make the 6am class tomorrow so that I can go visit my sweetheart for a few days before I work again on Sunday.
Another little milestones. Doubles. More to come in May!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Half Way
This week has been a gift to myself,
Sometime either at the tail end of last week or at the beginning of this something changed in my head.
I was tired of dreading going to yoga, of feeling injured, of hating the heat, of the crowded thoughts in my brain, of feeling cold the rest of the day because my hair stays wet, and all of it. But basically just tired of it being a chore to go to yoga. Even though I know it's good for me, it has been a fight.
This week, I decided I had to change something in order to enjoy what I was doing, or improvement, peace, and change was never going to come. I knew that if it is something I am looking forward to avoiding, then after these 90 days there is no chance of keeping up any sort of regular practice. I don't do things that I hate regularly, unless I really, REALLY have to.
I don't know how it came to me -- how to change that feeling. It wasn't a "go easy on yourself" per se.
It was about staying with the breath and making that the most important focus of my practice. Breathing in, and breathing out.
You know how they say never sacrifice form for depth?
Well, I have been sacrificing breathing form for depth, and that has made my mind a hot, frenetic, and frustrated place during yoga. There is no stillness in a posture if you are pushing only your body without calming your mind.
I picked up Bikram's newer book to see what he had to say, to get some more motivation and just some direct instruction to hopefully unlock some of the postures (Awkward II is perhaps my weakest...some days I can get up on my toes and other days even that is a challenge).
The book has been a good reminder, but what I found that was more important were the sections before and after the description, keys, and benefits to the 26 postures and two breathing exercises.
What interested me (which I had almost forgotten has always interested me in yoga), were the parts about unifying the body and mind, "killing yourself" -- meaning your ego, and preparing your strong, flexible beautiful body and calm, open mind to be ready for your true Self, your spirit, and your connection to the energy of the universe to enter and reveal itself.
Bikram's Yoga, maybe by nature of the class structure, has never seemed like a meditation. I have held a pre-conceived idea that Bikram is for a-type extremists. The people who love it are the people who like punishing their bodies with too much exercise, or swearing at themselves in their heads if they don't do something right.
It's hard, in that heat, not to have heated thoughts, but that is part of the yoga. As important (more!) than if my body gets all the way back in Camel today, is keeping my mind present, my breathing normal, and my thoughts on my current actions.
I am starting to notice the changes taking place in my body more this week. But I am happier about the changes that are starting to take place in my soul. This might be the most important journey to take -- cleaning house and preparing my holy temple.
Sometime either at the tail end of last week or at the beginning of this something changed in my head.
I was tired of dreading going to yoga, of feeling injured, of hating the heat, of the crowded thoughts in my brain, of feeling cold the rest of the day because my hair stays wet, and all of it. But basically just tired of it being a chore to go to yoga. Even though I know it's good for me, it has been a fight.
This week, I decided I had to change something in order to enjoy what I was doing, or improvement, peace, and change was never going to come. I knew that if it is something I am looking forward to avoiding, then after these 90 days there is no chance of keeping up any sort of regular practice. I don't do things that I hate regularly, unless I really, REALLY have to.
I don't know how it came to me -- how to change that feeling. It wasn't a "go easy on yourself" per se.
It was about staying with the breath and making that the most important focus of my practice. Breathing in, and breathing out.
You know how they say never sacrifice form for depth?
Well, I have been sacrificing breathing form for depth, and that has made my mind a hot, frenetic, and frustrated place during yoga. There is no stillness in a posture if you are pushing only your body without calming your mind.
I picked up Bikram's newer book to see what he had to say, to get some more motivation and just some direct instruction to hopefully unlock some of the postures (Awkward II is perhaps my weakest...some days I can get up on my toes and other days even that is a challenge).
The book has been a good reminder, but what I found that was more important were the sections before and after the description, keys, and benefits to the 26 postures and two breathing exercises.
What interested me (which I had almost forgotten has always interested me in yoga), were the parts about unifying the body and mind, "killing yourself" -- meaning your ego, and preparing your strong, flexible beautiful body and calm, open mind to be ready for your true Self, your spirit, and your connection to the energy of the universe to enter and reveal itself.
Bikram's Yoga, maybe by nature of the class structure, has never seemed like a meditation. I have held a pre-conceived idea that Bikram is for a-type extremists. The people who love it are the people who like punishing their bodies with too much exercise, or swearing at themselves in their heads if they don't do something right.
It's hard, in that heat, not to have heated thoughts, but that is part of the yoga. As important (more!) than if my body gets all the way back in Camel today, is keeping my mind present, my breathing normal, and my thoughts on my current actions.
I am starting to notice the changes taking place in my body more this week. But I am happier about the changes that are starting to take place in my soul. This might be the most important journey to take -- cleaning house and preparing my holy temple.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Tight Skin!
So, this achilles thing is really a bother. It has gripped most of my left leg and even though I have taken it as easy as I can on my left leg, I noticed last night that the skin on my inner and outer thigh stings. Like it's burnt almost. Turns out, the muscles underneath are just so tight that it's making the skin tender. Argh.
This week hasn't been bad -- I saw Julie R. a few times and we even practiced next to each other once which was nice support. I had Cedric a few times, and I seem to find a good zen in his class. I really like when our 2 minute Savasana's are silent. Tierney ushered me into a beautiful 6am class that I really wasn't feeling -- I managed to make it through though!
Between you and me, I have a secret. I am totally over the heat. It's not the postures now that are chasing me out of the room, it's the heat. It's annoying, and sometimes overwhelming, but definitely draining. I always dream of the cold shower I'm going to have in the last few Savasanas, but by the time I've stood in line and get into the shower, my body is nowhere near as hot.
Also, I love the coconut water, but I've been finding that if it's not really cold, I kind of just feel like I'm drinking a can of sweat. Gross analogy, but there you have it. And really, I guess that's the idea.
I sound like a downer, but some positive things are going on. I have held two (2) ! standing bows from start to finish. Mind you they were second sets so only 30 seconds, I'm starting to feel some strength in my back during the spine strengthening series, and triangle isn't nearly such a pain as I start to unlock the alignment.
I haven't had the internet since I moved last week, so my blogging has taken a backseat. Also, I got another job so now I have two little part time gigs which both seem to take up the middle section of my day -- which is the best time for me and yoga.
This week hasn't been bad -- I saw Julie R. a few times and we even practiced next to each other once which was nice support. I had Cedric a few times, and I seem to find a good zen in his class. I really like when our 2 minute Savasana's are silent. Tierney ushered me into a beautiful 6am class that I really wasn't feeling -- I managed to make it through though!
Between you and me, I have a secret. I am totally over the heat. It's not the postures now that are chasing me out of the room, it's the heat. It's annoying, and sometimes overwhelming, but definitely draining. I always dream of the cold shower I'm going to have in the last few Savasanas, but by the time I've stood in line and get into the shower, my body is nowhere near as hot.
Also, I love the coconut water, but I've been finding that if it's not really cold, I kind of just feel like I'm drinking a can of sweat. Gross analogy, but there you have it. And really, I guess that's the idea.
I sound like a downer, but some positive things are going on. I have held two (2) ! standing bows from start to finish. Mind you they were second sets so only 30 seconds, I'm starting to feel some strength in my back during the spine strengthening series, and triangle isn't nearly such a pain as I start to unlock the alignment.
I haven't had the internet since I moved last week, so my blogging has taken a backseat. Also, I got another job so now I have two little part time gigs which both seem to take up the middle section of my day -- which is the best time for me and yoga.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Start of Month Two
Last week was awful. Really brutal for a while. I was working, and had another job interview (I got it), so nw I have two part time jobs and yoga. I was pleading the universe for some kind second mortgage, a refilling of my Prana -- I took a few baths at the suggestion of my tantric healer, and still I was just drained.
The beauty of Thursday's class was looking out the skylight during Savasana, watching the clouds go by.
Still the work was hard, and I had to sit out a lot with just no energy to move.
Then Friday, AT LAST, something switched in my head. I drove to yoga with a car full of ...well, everything. I was moving on Friday, April 1st, from my little basement suite on Main and 23rd, to a big sunny place on MacDonald and 10th, literally 2 and a half blocks from Bikram Kitsilano. I was listening to the radio on the way, and just as I rounded the corner from King Edward onto MacDonald, the Peak (100.5 fm) started to play a new song by the Black Keys. I have long been a music lover, and for the past few years my music collections, have been left in moves, dwindled, and simply not been replenished with access to new music.
The Black Keys song (I have yet to look up the title) was excellent, and just what I needed to hear.
It reminded me of working out to music and then I kind of laughed to myself that what Bikram's is missing is a really kick ass sountrack. After some musing I came to the conclusion that there IS a soundtrack to Bikram's and I just had to start hearing the rhythm of it, and the music, rather than the labour. Something about this whole situation gave me joy and I decided that I would have a great class -- that I wouldn't go in dreading it because I would be kind to what my body wanted, and what my energy could do.
Apparently that was the ticket because I had a fabulous class. I stayed with my breath the whole time, and even though it was still a workout, I worked on my relaxation, my zen, and my peaceful smiling face without forcing my body into pain, panic, or negative thoughts.
Between my desire for music, and my new teacher (I'd never had him before and I don't know his name yet, as the Schedule said Gabe was taking the class, but this was not Gabe), I was able to hear the monologue as the chanting it may well have been in the land it came from, and it became music. Not rock and roll, but music none the less.
Yes, I may have worked too hard on Locking The Knee at all times (I am really trying to focus on my strong lampposts!), as some little muscles feel sproinged from my fourth toe (ring toe?) all the way up into my butt.
Since 30 days is up I have taken my blood pressure and need to find a scale to weigh myself, my blood pressure has already dropped, which is crazy since I had low blood pressure anyway, but more impressive is my resting heart rate. Normally anywhere from 66-72, my pulse was at 54. Woah.
So it's Monday, and here's hoping I can keep up this streak, at least for a while, until my body craves more of a push.
The beauty of Thursday's class was looking out the skylight during Savasana, watching the clouds go by.
Still the work was hard, and I had to sit out a lot with just no energy to move.
Then Friday, AT LAST, something switched in my head. I drove to yoga with a car full of ...well, everything. I was moving on Friday, April 1st, from my little basement suite on Main and 23rd, to a big sunny place on MacDonald and 10th, literally 2 and a half blocks from Bikram Kitsilano. I was listening to the radio on the way, and just as I rounded the corner from King Edward onto MacDonald, the Peak (100.5 fm) started to play a new song by the Black Keys. I have long been a music lover, and for the past few years my music collections, have been left in moves, dwindled, and simply not been replenished with access to new music.
The Black Keys song (I have yet to look up the title) was excellent, and just what I needed to hear.
It reminded me of working out to music and then I kind of laughed to myself that what Bikram's is missing is a really kick ass sountrack. After some musing I came to the conclusion that there IS a soundtrack to Bikram's and I just had to start hearing the rhythm of it, and the music, rather than the labour. Something about this whole situation gave me joy and I decided that I would have a great class -- that I wouldn't go in dreading it because I would be kind to what my body wanted, and what my energy could do.
Apparently that was the ticket because I had a fabulous class. I stayed with my breath the whole time, and even though it was still a workout, I worked on my relaxation, my zen, and my peaceful smiling face without forcing my body into pain, panic, or negative thoughts.
Between my desire for music, and my new teacher (I'd never had him before and I don't know his name yet, as the Schedule said Gabe was taking the class, but this was not Gabe), I was able to hear the monologue as the chanting it may well have been in the land it came from, and it became music. Not rock and roll, but music none the less.
Yes, I may have worked too hard on Locking The Knee at all times (I am really trying to focus on my strong lampposts!), as some little muscles feel sproinged from my fourth toe (ring toe?) all the way up into my butt.
Since 30 days is up I have taken my blood pressure and need to find a scale to weigh myself, my blood pressure has already dropped, which is crazy since I had low blood pressure anyway, but more impressive is my resting heart rate. Normally anywhere from 66-72, my pulse was at 54. Woah.
So it's Monday, and here's hoping I can keep up this streak, at least for a while, until my body craves more of a push.
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