Yoga Etiquette

OK! okay, I know, it's been a bazillion years since I've posted any sort of blog entry. Why is that? Because yoga is really friggin' hard. It has gotten harder, somehow, with the passing of time. Whether it's from little injuries that come up, or because I expect faster progress than I get, or because I work two jobs as well and feel tired most of the time, or because I'm under/over hydrating, under/over eating, or getting too many or too little electrolytes (geez, I dunno) -- whatever it is class is HARD. So hard it's a struggle to go. Oh I've been going (yes, so I do have two 4 day weeks that I have to make up for in the next, what, 10 days -- meaning either no days off of two days of doubles), but it has been such a challenge (funny that) that the thought of thinking about yoga or doing any more yoga related work has been met with such resistance that I haven't even opened my laptop for ANYTHING. (This is perhaps exacerbated by the fact that my laptop has both physical and mental disabilities and requires its own ritual yoga to get working every time I turn it on [wiggle the adapter, press this button, then this button, change the date and time, close this program and that program and click that option, 20 second savasana and then good to go but don't you dare move that cable!]-- which is every time I use it)

Today, after a full day off work, and a full day of putting off yoga (I even got my bicycle back in working order so I can ride to work downtown tomorrow at 5am! yuck!) and feeling warm, bloating menstrual cramps (it seems I only blog on my period...hmm) I went to Jacob's 7:45pm class in kits. I love having Jacob and today after a few weeks of not one single good/easier class, even though the class was really humid and I had cramps,I had a good class that didn't just beat me into a pulp.

So I thought I could write. But I had to trick myself into it by talking about something that I think about every time I am in the studio and every time I do yoga.
(Also)
Last week while having my Friday cinnamon bun and coffee at Sollys (loosing weight schmoosing weight), I read an article in the free transit paper where the contributing writer had recently gone on a plane trip and then decided to write an article about basic plane etiquette in 10 points. I laughed while reading it because it actually made me say out loud "this girl needs more yoga" -- one of them being "we both know your knee is touching my knee so don't pretend you don't know, just move your knee". Um
(Also)
I often think about etiquette. I work at a fancy private club, where every place setting gets 3 forks and etc., and think sometimes that etiquette like that is neat -- but also I often think it's stuffy rules-for-rules-sake, to be exclusive rather than considerate. My mom bought me an Emily Post's Everyday Etiquette book once for Christmas - that's neither here nor there.

Here's what I think the 10 *considerate* rules of Bikram Yoga etiquette should be. FEel free to agree or disagree as you see fit.

1. a) If you are marching into the yoga room before class after the first stream of people have exited, yield to the other people coming out of the class. Remember the way you felt after your worst class, and then imagine trying to do anything but slowly amble your way back to the change room, never mind dodging, waiting, or holding heavy doors open for people who still have all their faculties intact.
    b) If you are coming out of the hot room after a class, forgive the people on their way in. They haven't had 90-minutes on themselves to focus and regain their peace, and their minds are all over the place.

2. a) When you put down your towel keep a few things in mind: Can the person/people behind you still see themselves? How much space has the person next to you given themselves between the person he/she is next to (probably a decent gauge of their personal space needs)? A trick I've learned is to find a really sweaty person in Savasana, put your mat right behind him/her-- because that  person is going to get up and leave you his/her place in the mirror (rather than you standing at someone's feet pouring your space-coveting energy into his/her final savasana). Also, when you need to trespass into someone's mirror spot/personal space, it is always easier to just ask if it's cool -- people are pretty friendly and understanding if you give them the gratitude of asking their permission.
   b) If someone gets into your space in the mirror or goes closer to you than you would like on the floor forgive them (in your head), then let it go, and remember that this too is part of the peace you are seeking in
yoga.

3. a) Don't walk over people in savasana on your way into/out of the room. It's distracting for people trying to take their last savasana and it's definitely noticeable.
   b) If someone walks over you/drips sweat on you while you're on your mat, let it go. You're in savasana anyway, and letting distractions fall away is your job. Plus a drop of someone else's sweat will not hurt you. Really. It might give you the heebies, but it won't HURT

4. a) I know you like your friend/partner/neighbour/stranger. But talk to each other outside of the yoga room. This means you.
   b) If people are talking in the yoga room, let it go. This is part of the peace you are seeking in yoga. Your meditation is stronger than that.

5. a) Don't begrudge other people their flexibility/strength/balance/locked knees. You are a beautiful strong yogi just for trying again and again.
    b) Remember you are here to kill yourSELF (ie. your EGO) you're not here to kill your BODY (you're here to learn to love it and love your spirit)

6. a) Don't loudly/violently/apparently give up and take a drink (especially in the balancing parts), this is not only hard on everyone else's concentration, but also really hard on their will and determination. [I had a gal next to me --way closer than I could handle -- once sit down in the middle of toe stand, and proceed to noisily open her metal water bottle and drink/bathe herself]
    b) If the people around you fall out/give up/do weird or distracting things use that opportunity to strengthen your concentration on yourself. Then LET IT GO. This is part of the peace you are seeking in yoga.

7. a) Don't fight with the teacher. It usually means the rest of us have to stay in the posture longer and will begrudge you.
    b)Teacher's don't know everything that's going on with you. Listen to them, and do what you can. Know that you are doing your best when you are doing your best. Leave the rest alone.

8. Don't wear perfume, cologne, smoke cigarettes or apply fragrance of whatever kind to your person if you're going to yoga. Once I had on lotion and not only did it make some postures downright impossible (wind-removing!) but I felt like a total jerk the second I realized I could smell it as soon as I started sweating. Sorry everyone!

9. (I don't know how the men's changerooms are but...)
a) When you are taking a shower. Really, people are usually waiting. Do you need to use 3 stages of deep conditioning and body wash and whatever else takes the hundred years you spend in the showers? Couldn't you save that stuff for home and just do a quick rinse/wash at yoga? It's just sweat, and if you're coming lost, it's probably not all that dirty anymore anyway.
b)When you're getting changed, recognize you might be right in front of someone's stuff and they are waiting on you to get changed, too.

10. This practice is your own. It is also everyone else's. Consider what you need and extend that to others. Forgive the things that piss you off when others seem inconsiderate. Smile at each other. Share the struggle. Make friends."Namaste" is about acknowledging the divinity in everyone. Including yourself.

That's it.
Namaste

Blog Away

I just blogged at last and it "error"ed and deleted everything
wild reorganization, peace and change are happening
I'm just on intermission before the final act (of this, the prologue)

Stay tuned

Double Day!

Last Friday ended with some pretty heavy duty menstrual cramps starting during spine strengthening.
My actual period didn't start for another two days, but then by Monday's class I had to keep my arms out and to my sides in half-locust because my cramps were bad, and this whole weak has been very gentle in full bow. I just grab my feet and push my stomach into the floor until I feel it pounding.
Danny killed me on Tuesday, where I swear every posture lasted an extra ten seconds which was then subtracted from any "resting" that might have happened between postures. So everything was deep, way back, locked, forehead touching, arms pulling, stomach in, reach reach reach!

I didn't do class on Wednesday, I was still dead from Tuesday. I could have done 9:15 but had just gotten a free bed on Craigslist the day before and had my first sleep, off the floor in a Queen mattress stacked on another mattress. (Kurt, your kids can have their little single mattress back!) Something about having that new bed seemed to just suck every ounce out of me, as though I had been tired for months and finally slept for the first time.
Then I worked at my dance company job, and taught a mask workshop for some performers doing EURYDICE, and then I babysat for a friend's kids and didn't get home til 1am.

Today I got up at 8:30 and did my 9:15 class, even though I felt like I had no juice. I guess it turns out that I didn't because I vomited after class (maybe it has something to do with sugar levels when I'm on my period), and had to nap.
Since I didn't go yesterday though, I did another class after I got home from work at 7:45.
My first Double!
And, they (whoever "they" may be) were right!
It wasn't as impossible as I thought. I was extra vigilant not to hurt anything, because my achilles is still bugging me and my left side neck/shoulder has a kind of kink in it, and class was very calm, gentle and controlled. I did almost everything twice, and after the class was really proud of myself. Then I drank a lot of fluids, coconut water, juice, gatorade, and water and now I'm home getting ready for bed in the hopes to make the 6am class tomorrow so that I can go visit my sweetheart for a few days before I work again on Sunday.
Another little milestones. Doubles. More to come in May!

Half Way

This week has been a gift to myself,
Sometime either at the tail end of last week or at the beginning of this something changed in my head.
I was tired of dreading going to yoga, of feeling injured, of hating the heat, of the crowded thoughts in my brain, of feeling cold the rest of the day because my hair stays wet, and all of it. But basically just tired of it being a chore to go to yoga. Even though I know it's good for me, it has been a fight.
This week, I decided I had to change something in order to enjoy what I was doing, or improvement, peace, and change was never going to come. I knew that if it is something I am looking forward to avoiding, then after these 90 days there is no chance of keeping up any sort of regular practice. I don't do things that I hate regularly, unless I really, REALLY have to.
I don't know how it came to me -- how to change that feeling. It wasn't a "go easy on yourself" per se.
It was about staying with the breath and making that the most important focus of my practice. Breathing in, and breathing out.
You know how they say never sacrifice form for depth?
Well, I have been sacrificing breathing form for depth, and that has made my mind a hot, frenetic, and frustrated place during yoga. There is no stillness in a posture if you are pushing only your body without calming your mind.
I picked up Bikram's newer book to see what he had to say, to get some more motivation and just some direct instruction to hopefully unlock some of the postures (Awkward II is perhaps my weakest...some days I can get up on my toes and other days even that is a challenge).
The book has been a good reminder, but what I found that was more important were the sections before and after the description, keys, and benefits to the 26 postures and two breathing exercises.
What interested me (which I had almost forgotten has always interested me in yoga), were the parts about unifying the body and mind, "killing yourself" -- meaning your ego, and preparing your strong, flexible beautiful body and calm, open mind to be ready for your true Self, your spirit, and your connection to the energy of the universe to enter and reveal itself.
Bikram's Yoga, maybe by nature of the class structure, has never seemed like a meditation. I have held a pre-conceived idea that Bikram is for a-type extremists. The people who love it are the people who like punishing their bodies with too much exercise, or swearing at themselves in their heads if they don't do something right.
It's hard, in that heat, not to have heated thoughts, but that is part of the yoga. As important (more!) than if my body gets all the way back in Camel today, is keeping my mind present, my breathing normal, and my thoughts on my current actions.

I am starting to notice the changes taking place in my body more this week. But I am happier about the changes that are starting to take place in my soul. This might be the most important journey to take -- cleaning house and preparing my holy temple.

Tight Skin!

So, this achilles thing is really a bother. It has gripped most of my left leg and even though I have taken it as easy as I can on my left leg, I noticed last night that the skin on my inner and outer thigh stings. Like it's burnt almost. Turns out, the muscles underneath are just so tight that it's making the skin tender. Argh.

 This week hasn't been bad -- I saw Julie R. a few times and we even practiced next to each other once which was nice support. I had Cedric a few times, and I seem to find a good zen in his class. I really like when our 2 minute Savasana's are silent. Tierney ushered me into a beautiful 6am class that I really wasn't feeling -- I managed to make it through though!

  Between you and me, I have a secret. I am totally over the heat. It's not the postures now that are chasing me out of the room, it's the heat. It's annoying, and sometimes overwhelming, but definitely draining. I always dream of the cold shower I'm going to have in the last few Savasanas, but by the time I've stood in line and get into the shower, my body is nowhere near as hot.

Also, I love the coconut water, but I've been finding that if it's not really cold, I kind of just feel like I'm drinking a can of sweat. Gross analogy, but there you have it. And really, I guess that's the idea.

I sound like a downer, but some positive things are going on. I have held two (2) ! standing bows from start to finish. Mind you they were second sets so only 30 seconds, I'm starting to feel some strength in my back during the spine strengthening series, and triangle isn't nearly such a pain as I start to unlock the alignment.

I haven't had the internet since I moved last week, so my blogging has taken a backseat. Also, I got another job so now I have two little part time gigs which both seem to take up the middle section of my day -- which is the best time for me and yoga.

Start of Month Two

Last week was awful. Really brutal for a while. I was working, and had another job interview (I got it), so nw I have two part time jobs and yoga. I was pleading the universe for some kind second mortgage, a refilling of my Prana -- I took a few baths at the suggestion of my tantric healer, and still I was just drained.
The beauty of Thursday's class was looking out the skylight during Savasana, watching the clouds go by.
Still the work was hard, and I had to sit out a lot with just no energy to move.
Then Friday, AT LAST, something switched in my head. I drove to yoga with a car full of ...well, everything. I was moving on Friday, April 1st, from my little basement suite on Main and 23rd, to a big sunny place on MacDonald and 10th, literally 2 and a half blocks from Bikram Kitsilano. I was listening to the radio on the way, and just as I rounded the corner from King Edward onto MacDonald, the Peak (100.5 fm) started to play a new song by the Black Keys. I have long been a music lover, and for the past few years my music collections, have been left in moves, dwindled, and simply not been replenished with access to new music.
The Black Keys song (I have yet to look up the title) was excellent, and just what I needed to hear.
It reminded me of working out to music and then I kind of laughed to myself that what Bikram's is missing is a really kick ass sountrack. After some musing I came to the conclusion that there IS a soundtrack to Bikram's and I just had to start hearing the rhythm of it, and the music, rather than the labour. Something about this whole situation gave me joy and I decided that I would have a great class -- that I wouldn't go in dreading it because I would be kind to what my body wanted, and what my energy could do.

 Apparently that was the ticket because I had a fabulous class. I stayed with my breath the whole time, and even though it was still a workout, I worked on my relaxation, my zen, and my peaceful smiling face without forcing my body into pain, panic, or negative thoughts.

Between my desire for music, and my new teacher (I'd never had him before and I don't know his name yet, as the Schedule said Gabe was taking the class, but this was not Gabe), I was able to hear the monologue as the chanting it may well have been in the land it came from, and it became music. Not rock and roll, but music none the less.

Yes, I may have worked too hard on Locking The Knee at all times (I am really trying to focus on my strong lampposts!), as some little muscles feel sproinged from my fourth toe (ring toe?) all the way up into my butt.

Since 30 days is up I have taken my blood pressure and need to find a scale to weigh myself, my blood pressure has already dropped, which is crazy since I had low blood pressure anyway, but more impressive is my resting heart rate. Normally anywhere from 66-72, my pulse was at 54. Woah.

So it's Monday, and here's hoping I can keep up this streak, at least for a while, until my body craves more of a push.

Start from scratch...

I am back in Vancouver at the Kitsilano studio again and did the 7:45 last night with Jacob. He was great and his voice and deliberate instruction may have been the key to keeping me in the room. Since last week I am feeling totally drained and under the weather. My throat is sore with a permanent tickle, the occasional cough, sneezes here and there and just general weakness with no energy. Bengal tiger has left the building.
My sweetheart told me to be kind to myself -- just go in and commit to the two breathing exercises which I knew was impossible, to ONLY do that, but which got me into a room I otherwise wanted to avoid like the plague.
I killed it until the watt break and then hit a wall-- hard. I had to sit out a lot and I just cried straight through spine strengthening. I was tired, nothing felt good. Mommy waaaah!
Today, I had to do the 6am since I was scheduled to work at 11. I guess I was nicer to myself, I did even less but still, by the end there were times when I didn't even want to be in my skin and felt like shaking violently until I was no longer trapped inside would be the most satisfying. I made it through, didn't shower after for the first time ever, called in sick and slept for the next 5 hours. My body still aches, my skin feels electric in a sunburn sort of way, but I would have been so miserable trying to serve and bus dishes, move tables and be pleasant.
Today concluded day 30-- 1/3 through my challenge. I was hoping for a strong motivating and beautiful practice today, instead i am reminded why this is w journey. And an experiment. Ha.